Comments on: On Telling Your Story: An Interview with Sue Silverman {Inspiration Café}

By: Sue William Silverman

Sue William Silverman — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 11:27:32 +0000

Thank you, Shai–and thanks to your readers, too, for their interesting comments and for asking such important questions. I appreciate the opportunity to participate in your blog. Sue

By: Shai Coggins

Shai Coggins — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:19:45 +0000

And to SUE – Thank you so much again for this interview. And, for responding to everyone’s comments. You’ve been a wonderful guest.

By: Shai Coggins

Shai Coggins — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:19:00 +0000

Hi, Kay. I’m glad you enjoyed the interview. And, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this matter. It is interesting to hear what you’ve been advised about how to handle the past. In my case, I believe that there can be a happy medium between “moving on” without holding on too much to the past and remembering the past in order to heal and to find a new direction. I hope you find what is best for you too.

By: Shai Coggins

Shai Coggins — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:16:49 +0000

Thanks, Patricia. I appreciate your comment and your thoughts here. I wish you all the best!

By: Shai Coggins

Shai Coggins — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:16:13 +0000

Hey, Kari. Yeah, I understand what you mean. It’s a bit tough. And, it’s something I continue to face, even here on my blog. I hope you find a way that works for you – and the ones you love.

By: Shai Coggins

Shai Coggins — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:15:12 +0000

Thanks, Jodi. It was definitely a nice coincidence to have Sue as a guest during my “blogiversary”.

By: Sue William Silverman

Sue William Silverman — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 02:52:15 +0000

HI, Kay, just to clarify: I’m blogging about these issues just as a guest. Mainly, I write books–memoirs–about the past. And, additionally, my new book “Fearless Confessions: A Writer’s Guide to Memoir” is to help others learn how to write their memoirs.

I’m sad to learn that you, too, were hurt as a child.

That’s interesting that your psychologist suggests that you “get rid of the past” instead of writing about it. I guess, for me, one way to do just that–get rid of it–IS to write about it. Writing is a way to make sense of the past, understand it. In my experience, by doing so, the past tends to lose much of its power, much of the hold it has over us.

For me, the only ways I found to resolve the past were both through therapy and writing. Otherwise, I feel sure I would still be stuck in the past and in many unhealthy behaviors.

I agree with you that anorexia (which I also suffered from) is a way of dying–both physically and emotionally. To me, all addictions are a kind of slow suicide. Even sexual addiction, on some level, is, but it’s more of an emotional and spiritual suicide. Very destructive.

Thank you so much for responding to this post. I appreciate hearing your views and some of your own story.

By: Kay

Kay — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 02:29:37 +0000

OK Shai- this is an interesting interview with this unusual woman, Sue Silverman! I can identify with using a blog as a memoire, as I have a lot of crap from my past that influences my present. However, I tend to blog about how I feel in the present, rather than getting into the details of what might have “caused” it. I too have a looming father figure from the past, but nothing like Sue’s sexual abuse- just unthinking neglect and cruelty- emotional abuse is probably what you’d say I got from my mum. At the moment I am seeing a psychologist who says that I should “get rid” of the past, rather than make a memoire of it, so that’s a bit different from Sue’s method! I’ve also seen countless instances of people starving themselves into anorexia from whatever emotional difficulties they’ve suffered during childhood- it seems to be a way of symbolically”dying” as a psychological and physical being- fading into nothingness and worthlessness; without physically disappearing and dying. The sexual addiction thing I can sort of understand, but I’ve never spoken to anyone who could explain how it really feels- it seems a remote solution to me, so I should probably read Sue’s book for some insight. You’ve made me think, both of you!