Shai Coggins

Late Friday evening, life as I know it changed in an instant.

My Dad suffered a stroke. Some stranger found him unconscious in the streets of Manila, and brought him to the ER. There, they tried to treat him. He has been in a coma and on life support. And, even after 72 hours of hospital care, my father’s vitals just kept going down. That’s why even if we long for a miracle, we were already told to expect the worst.

Expecting the worst while living a few thousand miles away just seem to make it so much harder.

So, tomorrow, I’m off to see my dad. Possibly, to say goodbye. And admittedly, I don’t even know how to do just that.

Yes, that’s how my very rough week had been capped. Little did I know that last week’s ‘tough day’ was just the beginning. The rest of the week just kept throwing one difficult thing after another my way. It made that ‘tough day’ appear like a walk in the park instead.

That’s why instead of returning to ‘normal’ blogging schedule this week as hoped for/planned, it looks like I need to go for a longer break. I already quit my 365 project today, to give me some room to mourn and breathe and regroup.

And, although I’ll be back in Australia next week, I’m still not sure when I can re-start blogging here.

In any case, I have been sharing some updates on my Twitter account, whenever I need to engage in catharsis or to be in a place where I can connect. It’s usually where I send mobile notes as well, even when I’m unable to go online. If you’re interested to receive such updates, I’d love to welcome you as a Twitter friend.

Also, if you’ve sent me an email or comment recently - and you’re still waiting for a response - I hope to be able to get back to you as soon as I’m able to catch up with it all.

Anyway, for now, I just want to say thanks to everyone who already sent in their warm thoughts and prayers. Your words of comfort and hope have definitely been helping me through this very difficult time. So, again, thank you.

The picture you see here is an SP, of me holding an old photo album. That’s my dad on the left hand side, holding me at about age one. That’s also me on the right, with my dad holding me up as he was just teaching me how to walk.

Hello and welcome to 52WoC. It’s Week #15 of our 52 Weeks of Blog Community Project

This week’s task is pretty much a continuation of last week’s task. This time, though, I encourage you to do something to get to know your readers better. If you already do this on a regular basis, share with us what you do. If you have a sample post on how you get to know your readers, share them in the comments section below.

If you do not have any ideas on what to do to get to know your readers better, here are some suggestions:

1. Start a Tell Me About You project. You don’t have to make it an ongoing project, if you feel it’s too much to cope with. A one-off session might do you for now.

2. Post some of the questions last week’s task (with a link to the originator of the questions, if possible). Encourage your readers to answer those questions.

3. Do your own “Getting to Know You” session in your blog. Ask a question, encourage commenter #2 to answer your question and post a new question, etc etc etc.

4. Hold a delurking day!

Whatever it is that you decide to do, please share your post’s links here, so we can visit them and send them some love. Maybe even take part in them!

In any case, I hope this task will help you to bring some readers closer to you…

Anyway, thanks again to all who shared a little more about themselves in last week’s task, Getting to Know You (52WoC #14):

• Heather
• Nicola
• Hanna
• Nenette
• Christie
• Sushi
• Toni
• Jayme
• Jami

I really enjoyed reading all the answers and questions. When there was a bit of confusion to begin with, I was really impressed when you all managed to get things back on track. Well done, all. Thank you!

Since Jami posted the last 3 questions, I promised to answer them here. So, here you go…

‘been celebrating my birthday the last few days - both online and off. I know I already shared part of it here a few days ago. Even conducted a poll*. But, haven’t had the chance to report back here. So, I thought I’ll do that now.

On the Day Itself:

Woke up with tea + singing from family + hugs & kisses + pressies. Then, ended up having lunch with some good friends, hubby & kids. It was a lovely Autumn day. And, going to the hills was great because of all the red, golden and ochre colours surrounding the place at this time of the year. Had a feast - including trying out sushi again. And, I think I’ll be giving it a go some more. Might share more on this Sushi journey later.

After lunch + quick drinks, I went home and rested. Prepared a simple dinner in the evening. And, enjoyed some wonderful greetings from online friends, family - and other folks. Overall, a good day. Nothing really icky. At least, I’d rather not dwell on ‘em icky stuff.

Checking in on Personal Goals from Last Year:

Last year, I shared 3 main goals that I wanted to achieve as a 33-yr-old. Looking back now, I think I can safely say that the areas of Productivity and Life Enjoyment are doing all right. A lot of things have changed and have happened over the last year. Including, but not limited to: Visiting the New York & Toronto for the first time, meeting some wonderful people (both new ones and old friends), Spending time with family, New camera + Growth in Photography, and much much more.

The weak point, as always, is my health/fitness. I did manage to go to a Pilates class once. Also looked at gyms and such. But, nothing regular still. So, what can I say? I don’t do exercise well! But, I still am hoping…

New Goals and Hopes for This Year:

How do I even begin to list what I’m attempting to achieve right now? But, in line with my Word of the Year (Today) - I’d like to explore more of the “Daily” concept. Developing rhythm in one’s life. Harnessing the power of the ordinary, everyday things. Finding ways to celebrate more, whinge less… Do what you love, love what you do…

And yeah, two other words that I wish to find new ways to incorporate in to my life: Connectedness + Generosity.

I’ve been thinking more about these things lately. Pushing the boundaries on how to become more, by being less.

I’m sure you’ll see these themes coming up again in this blog.

FINAL NOTES:

Again, thanks so much for all your fabulous greetings. Really enjoyed my virtual celebrations.

*Oh, and on the poll about buying oneself birthday gifts - an astounding 72% said that Yes, they do buy birthday gifts for themselves. And, 28% said ‘Sometimes’. Wow. Now that made me want to treat myself to some lovely presents for myself. Hehe.

After blogging for everyday for nearly 100 days, I caved in to two non-blogging days. Including missing my Web Wednesday weekly feature.

Admittedly, I felt really disappointed. I thought I’d at least make it to 100 before I stop the daily blogging. Unfortunately, I’ve been confined to my bed/couch the last couple of days. ‘been having chills/on-off fevers/headaches/tummy aches and all sorts of other aches and pains. And, one sure sign that I’m really ill is that I am unable to face the computer. Everyone who knows me know that it takes A LOT to pry me off my laptop.

I’m feeling a bit better now, though still not 100%. In fact, I’ll be off to the docs later for a check-up - and might even need meds to help speed up the healing.

Anyway, although the break in daily blogging disappointed me, I also felt relief on the other hand. The pressure’s off to blog daily, since I’ve already missed my target. One lesson I’ve learned through this though, is that when it comes to blogging, it’s near to impossible to reach a daily blogging target when:

1) You’re writing a personal blog and ‘guest bloggers’ aren’t a good fit.
2) There’s a limited amount of time you can spend on future posts.
3) When ‘future posts’ aren’t always applicable.

After all, how can you allot for emergencies, extremely busy times, illnesses, blogger burnout, etc all the time? I mean, sure, when I knew I won’t be able to blog for a day or so, I managed to plan future posts on those days. Even on days when I didn’t feel like blogging due to exhaustion or being way too busy, I still managed to muster up enough energy to come up with a post. But, when I ended up ill and unable to get up from bed… Well, there was just no fighting that one.

Ah, well. Maybe one of these days, I’ll come up with a 100 Days Daily Blogging Challenge. But, the thought of it is too much for me at this stage. When I’m fully recovered, I might consider it again. For now, I’ll keep up with my two main projects here: the 52 Weeks of Blogging Community project + my Web Wednesday features as best as I can. And, yes, I will still try to blog often. But, I think I’ll try not to push myself too hard on the daily blogging. I might still try to blog daily, but will not agonise if I don’t.

QUICK UPDATE: Had to update this, as writing of being sick, I just found out that my 2.5 year old nephew is about to go in to brain surgery in the next few hours. I’m really shocked and saddened by this. And, my heart goes out to my brother, his wife, their baby girl, and the rest of the family. If you can spare some time for prayers, will really appreciate it.

Anyway, Em Dy recently tagged me for the 123 Book Tag. Thought I’d better answer now before I forget…

Indeed, it has been a year since I welcomed a new addition to my li’l family. And now, look at how she has grown!

As you can probably imagine, it has been quite a year for me - and the rest of the family. Juggling being a parent to two kids, full time work, running a household, side projects… Yep. Never a dull moment.

Before this year, I thought I was already one busy woman. Who knew I could do so much more? Made me wonder if I’ve been such a slacker before I had all these things in my life.

Anyway, other than learning to do more with my time, I’ve picked up a few other lessons along the way since having my little girl…

1. My heart is capable of more love than I could ever imagine. I guess, kids have a way of doing that - in many unexpected ways. But, before having a child, I didn’t think I was capable of loving someone so much. So, when I found out that I was having a second one, I couldn’t fathom the idea of being able to love even more. How can I love two kids that way? I thought hearts have limits. Having my girl made me realise that hearts always have more room for love.

2. Two kids are definitely more than one. Obvious? Perhaps. But, the fact that both my husband and I find our hands full A LOT MORE made us realise that no matter how tiring it was to have one child, at least we can ‘tag team’ before. Now, with two kids clamoring for attention at the same time, there’s no such thing - since we both need to be on duty. And, without extra hands to help us… well, we just need to learn to do more. Unless one of the kids was occupied or asleep, that is. Both of them sleeping at the same time? That’s called rare bliss.

3. Having a daughter is wonderful. Of course, having a son is wonderful too. But yeah, the thought of having a girl really freaked me out before. There are so many reasons behind that thinking, so I won’t get in to them. But now, even though I still wonder what my relationship will be like with my girl as she grows up, I must say that I’m really enjoying our relationship NOW. Yes, I find that there are definitely differences in raising a boy and a girl. Not necessarily because I’m trying to raise them in a different way. It’s just the way they are. And yes, I’m loving that I can buy cute little shoes, clothes, clips, bags, and dolls now. For the girl, of course. Heh.

4. It’s not necessarily easier, just clearer. Everyone kept telling me before that the second time around is easier, yada yada yada. Never believed it, really. And, it’s true. Being a second time parent isn’t necessarily an easier situation. But, the good thing is that I don’t find myself panicking so much. I feel more confident in my decisions and choices.

5. Happiness comes in twos. While it may feel that it’s harder work having two kids, it also brings double the joy. It’s such a pleasure seeing my two kids grow up. My heart overflows when I witness how they interact with each other. The sound of two kids laughing… giggling… playing… It just makes my house feel absolutely like home.

So, here’s to wishing friends who’re expecting their second child all the best.

And yes, to my beautiful girl (even though you won’t be able to read this now, I just want to say…): You’ve changed my life in many many ways. Thank you for being in my life. And, I’m just so grateful that I am in yours. Happy birthday!

In spite of how busy, exhausting, trying, stressful, or challenging everyday life may be…

At the end of each day -

It’s always good to know what matters most.

Dandelions always remind me of childhood. How I used to pick them and blow the spores in to the wind. Making wishes, for every spore.

I don’t know if that was something I learned from someone. Or, if it was something that I made up.

Anyway, even now as an adult, I still get the urge to pick dandelions and to make wishes. And right now, I have a massive wish list that can use up a bunch of dandelions easily.

Other than world peace, protection from recession, health for family, friends and yourself… what do you wish for right now?

In any case, here’s a song for you…

My Wish by Rascal Flatts
(some of the typed text in the video can be wonky, but no biggie) -

I love being a mum. But, one of the things that I miss ever since I had kids is going out on dates. It has been years since my husband and I went out on our own. We haven’t been to a movie together since Finding Nemo.

This is partly because we live on our own here in Australia. We have to raise our kids without on-call grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. We don’t have any families who can work as free babysitters. And, we find it tough to leave the kids with someone we don’t really know well.

Late last year, however, my husband and I decided that we should add a bit more fun in to our relationship. We knew that we can’t possibly carry on with doing just work, completing chores, pursuing personal goals, and pouring our lives to our kids.

We need to invest in us.

So, we said that we’ll try to go out on our own at least once a month in 2008.

Well, we didn’t get that happening in January. But yesterday, we went to a simple dinner + comedy show date as a special treat. Got a babysitter, whom the kids absolutely adore (she works at the childcare too, so they already know her). And, it was good. Felt strange. But, good.

Hopefully, it won’t take a few more years for the next date to happen.

What about you? What’s dating like for you? As a single, is it all hip and happening?

Or, if you already have a partner, do you still go out on dates? When and how often?

What’s your most ideal date? Any other dating suggestions and ideas that you might have?

Out of four siblings, I’m the only one with a middle name. My mom and dad said it was because I’m the eldest. They wanted me to learn responsibility by having two names. I’m not sure how my two names helped, but yeah…

Jen, my new Flickr and blog buddy, tagged me a few days ago with these instructions:

You must post the rules before you give your answers.
You must list one fact about yourself for each letter of your middle name.
Each fact must begin with that letter.
If you don’t have a middle name, just use your maiden name.
After you’ve been tagged, you need to up-date your blog with your middle name and answers.
At the end of your post, you need to tag one person. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they’ve been tagged and need to read your blog for details).

Well, it’s not a very long middle name, so don’t worry… Here you go -

A - rtsy : Or at least, I love all forms of art! It bugs me when I’m not creating something (like, right now). I enjoy painting, drawing, making things, designing, taking photos… And yeah, I even love dance, music, the performing arts, etc.

N - octurnal: Well, just about. I do find myself most productive at night. Although ever since I became a mum, I had to re-adjust my body clock. But, I can’t help it. I still like night times. And, in spite my better judgment, I still often stay up late.

N - eurotic: Terribly so. I know that this might be a strange admission from someone with a Masters’ degree in Psychology. But then, I should know, right? And I’m not just being funny. I really have some neuroses that only my husband knows about.

So, there you go. Phew. That was tougher than I thought. Not a lot of N adjectives that I liked. My husband suggested ‘nubile’ - but I thought that wasn’t appropriate. Heh.

What about you? What’s your middle name? Can you describe yourself using the letters in your name?

Since I often feel weird tagging folks, I thought I’ll make this an open tag. So, if you feel like taking part in this meme, then you’re tagged. Let me know if you give it a go!

As a child, one of my favourite parts of getting sick was the feeling of being cared for. And no, I’m not just talking about being allowed to miss school.

My parents have never really been the ’showy’, affectionate types. But, I do remember enjoying the warmth of my parents’ arms, as they carried me to bed when I fell asleep on the sofa. And, the joy of having homemade soup to comfort my aches and pains. And, how my mom rubbed Vicks on my back and on my chest - and put a warm towel on my head when there was a need for such.

I also recall how my dad used to fill a basin full of warm water (with salt) to give me a foot and leg bath/massage. I can still almost feel my trepidation whenever my toes touched the hot water, which immediately got replaced by relaxation as soon as the soothing feeling took over.

The days of my parents taking care of me in such ways have long been gone, of course. But, I will always remember those moments, especially as I take care of my own kids whenever they’re feeling unwell.

Now, as a parent, I realise just how difficult it is to watch someone you love so much to be in any kind of pain. Especially when you feel helpless to take it all away.

Right now, my four year old still believes that I can kiss and hug away his hurts. I know that this will not always be the case. So, I want to be able to be there - to kiss and to hug every bit of scrape and bump and disappointment that he has - while I can. And, of course, it’s the same for my growing baby girl too.

Yes, the three of us (myself, my boy and my girl) have felt a bit under the weather today. My boy still remained his lively self. But, my girl and I ended up spending a lot of time sleeping and resting - most of the time, in each other’s arms.

I hope that one day, they too will remember these moments of feeling cared for, whenever they feel unwell.

What about you? Do you remember what it was like when you were sick as a child? What were your favourite home remedies? And as a grown up, what are your current favourite home remedies?