If you were to give some tips and guidelines on how to make more friends (as in, face-to-face friends. You know, the kind you actually meet and greet and have barbecues with.), what will they be?
Where and how do you meet new friends?
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Hi Shai,
My suggestions are, once you’ve sussed the people/person you feel you might like to get to know better:
- suggest having a BBQ together and see what their response is
- invite them over for a BBQ, either at your house or the beach/park/etc
Things usually work out from there. You either realise you want to spend more time with them and they you, or that you don’t have so much in common with them as you may have originally thought.
To meet new people it’s really as easy as starting to talk to people. If you go to the same church/shopping centre/school/work place/sporting centre/etc, you just start chatting. People usually warm up or clam up. You just take it from there.
But, just to add; I’ve been taking my little boy to story time at the library for the last year and in all that time I’ve only gained one friend. We haven’t been to any BBQs together, yet, but we’re getting there. Sometimes it just takes some work and the idea that you aren’t going to give up.
I’m looking forward to the other replies.
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I agree about doing different activites so that you are exposed to different types of people. On top of that though, I think a lot of people forget to act like they are truly interested in others.I think it’s important to show that interest by asking questions so they feel like you really want to get to know them. Noone wants to be friends with someone who is only interested in themselves, right?
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My friends are those that share the activities I like.
When I lived in Illinois and managed a movie theater I shot pool, went to the clubs and drank too much. And so I had similar friends.
During my 20 years in the Army I really didnt have “Army” pals. When I took up cycling I had one true friend in Hawaii that shared my passion for it.
I guess you might say I’m a loner and can pretty much get by with work, people watching, and my faamily. Oh teah..and the Internet-haha.
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Where to meet friends? Well, i suppose the answer there is to go out and go/do to somewhere new or unfamiliar to you – like take sewing or karate lessons, join the gym, chat with your neighbour, and accept every opportunity when it knocks – like an invitation at work function or when someone’s in need then give help.
To make them like me as a friend to invite for their barbeque? Honestly, I have the same problem too, and I think the solution there is to treat them like how you would like to be treated. For instance, if it makes you feel good to receive an invitation to have dinner or coffee with them, a phone call to just say ‘Hi’, or a Christmas greeting card, then do the same to them. I keep reminding myself about what i said here, but my shyness or fear of rejection take over first before I get to do it. Make the initial move and don’t wait for them to do it….hopefully all the effort pays off and they’ll soon be inviting you for the next barbeque.
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Finding people with a common interest by joining a club or starting a course like a health club, gym, art class, language class, yoga. Or if you have kids, I believe there are always opportunities to meet your kids’ friends through school or their hobbies/extra-curricular activities.
We meet people through expat forums, walking the dog and meeting other dog owners, art class and my husband’s work.
:cheese:
It’s difficult though even through these groups to find people who are on the same wave length and will become good friends…
Btw, been following your blog for a while! Firstly back in NZ when you were in Singapore and interested in buying some of your paintings – namely the Bridesmaid! Not sure if you remember??
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“You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.� Dale Carnegie
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sadly, this is not one of my strong points
i am good and confident at public grioup speaking (you know, for presentations and hosting parties etc.)
but i am not good at making NEW friends at all
thanhks for this, got a lot of tips
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Well, I think it is quite difficult to make a friend in the meaning it is included into the word. We can make every day heaps of friendly contacts and relations. WE can find every day tens of people to talk with and to prettily discuss the things, we can even find those who can express sympathy or elation about the events you face but the real friends… they are made for years, tested in different situations and there can’t be a lot of them…
I think
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Thanks to everyone who gave their thoughts and ideas here. Would love to collect and highlight them some time.
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well sadly this is an area where I really need some help.. I joined a gym and just want to know what to do im kinda shy but would appreciate any help thanks…
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