Studio Notes by Shai Coggins» Relationships + Communication

Who’s on your cheering squad?

Shai Coggins — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 11:39:55 +0000

It’s always a challenge to start and complete projects or challenges. That’s why joining group initiatives make these things a bit more doable.

Take the NaNoWriMo / NaBloPoMo challenges for instance.

At any given time of the year, my life is just way too busy to consider writing or blogging daily – on top of a full time job, domestic commitments, studies, travel, and everything else. Yet, when I decided to join this challenge at the beginning of this month, I have been quite faithful to the practice of writing and blogging.

To me, the “winning” doesn’t really matter too much. I just like knowing that I can challenge myself to do something and to work on it.

And, even better when I am able to do it with a group of people who would like to see me succeed.

For NaNoWriMo / NaBloPoMo, a few of my Twitter/Adelaide buddies and I decided to become each other’s cheerleaders… @dileeshus (blog), @kamtiger (blog), and @danaesinclair (blog). We ping each other with new posts, we comment on each other’s blogs, we ask how we’re doing with things… As regularly as our busy lives can allow us to do so.

I think it’s the first time that I am working closely with ‘buddies’ for NaNoWriMo / NaBloPoMo, and I think it’s great.

But, to be honest, when it comes to Studio Notes, I do think of YOU, regular and semi-regular readers and subscribers of this blog, as a part of my blogging cheering squad. That’s why when I haven’t blogged for a while, I think of you. Even when you don’t poke me or ask me where I am, I still think about wanting to reach out to you through a new post.

That’s why I keep coming back… And blogging… Regardless of busy schedules and other challenges.

That’s why I’m working on blogging more, better…

And yes, I like to imagine cheering squads in different aspects of my life because I know that even though I may not always hear about it, I am aware that there are a number of people who care enough to wish me to succeed at work, at home, and just life in general.

I wish to be able to acknowledge and thank my cheering squad every chance I get.

So, after 15 days of daily blogging this month, I wish to say THANK YOU, my fellow NaNaNoWriMo/NaBloPoMo folks… THANK YOU, dear Studio Notes readers and subscribers… THANK YOU, family, friends, and colleagues who’re always there for me, whether I know it or not…

I appreciate you and what you do.

I hope I can serve as part of your cheering squad too.

Image source: MarkoFRA via sxc

5 Thoughts on Friendship

Shai Coggins — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 14:58:46 +0000

Friendship is a very strong theme for me, especially over the last few years when I have gained and lost a number of friends and so-called friends. So, I thought that for this week’s Friday Five, I’d share some thoughts and quotes on friendship that I’ve come across.

1. Different friendships represent different parts of our lives. Some parts may not even be present before we develop this friendship.

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.” – Anais Nin

2. Real friendships grow with you. They know you and accept you at all stages of life. And, they never ask you to stop evolving.

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently invites you to grow.” – Dianne Hales

3. Although it may seem easy to find friends when good times come along, it’s actually when bad things happen where you’d find your REAL friends.

“In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends.” – John Churton Collins

4. Real friends survive the test of time, distance, and long periods of silence.

“It’s been said that friends can go for long periods of time without speaking and yet never question the friendship. These friends pick up where they left off like they just spoke yesterday, despite the time and how far away they live from each other. They don’t hold grudges; they understand that life is busy and that you will ALWAYS love them.” – Author Unknown

Final words on friendship in this post:

5. I’ve been told by people who know me well that whilst I have learned to enjoy big social interactions and gatherings, I’m actually really choosy with whom I spend my time with. So, if I spend any significant time with you, chances are, I really like you.

“I just do not hang around anybody that I don’t want to be with. Period. For me, that’s been a blessing, and I can stay positive. I hang around people who are happy, who are growing, who want to learn, who don’t mind saying sorry or thank you and are having a fun time.” – John Assaraf

Celebrating Friendships

Shai Coggins — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 11:21:22 +0000

Friendship is a very strong theme for me lately. Of course, I’ve always valued friends. But, for one reason or another, I have been thinking about the whole thing a lot lately. Partly because I’ve been meeting a lot of new people through my graduate studies — and partly because I’ve been reconnecting with some old friends. And yes, there are a few other matters on friendships that have come to my attention recently.

So, I’ve been pondering about what makes people click as friends… what makes friendships last… how do friendships work… can men and women be really “just friends”… how do you develop friendships… what makes a friend a real friend… Well, you get the picture.

Over the long weekend, I’ve had the privilege of celebrating friendship in three different forms — through a long, ongoing friendship (with my good friend Bern), through a newly introduced friendship (Hi, Cleng!), and through a long-distance friendship that’s now finally cemented with a face-to-face meeting (Yay, Christine!).

Christine and I met through blogging over five years ago. I saw her name in the blogroll of our mutual blogging buddy (Melissa), and decided to pay her blog a visit. Then, after reading Christine’s blog entries, I decided to email her to say hello. It was a life-changing email.

You see, Christine has a number of special gifts. One of them is being a “connector”. Connectors are people who don’t only know a lot of people — they love introducing who they know to each other, one way or another. They take joy in the whole process of making a difference by connecting people. That’s why if you have a connector in your life, you will definitely find yourself blessed with all sorts of things. If you don’t have a connector just yet, go find one – you’ll see how great it is to have one (or more) in your life. And, if you’re a connector yourself — good on ‘ya. You’re a rare breed who can bring a lot of interesting things in to the lives of people you come across.

Anyway, within weeks of our first email, Christine ended up introducing me to Bern, her long-time friend who happens to have just migrated to Adelaide at the time. Bern and I became good friends. In fact, we did our online video show together for a while. And, she is now my daughter’s godmother.

Christine and I have been hoping to meet each other for years. So finally, when she found another one of her long-time friends who moved here in Adelaide a few years ago (Cleng), she knew that she just had to come and catch up with the three of us. And so she did. Booked a flight from New Zealand to visit us here in Oz over the long weekend.

So, for 3 days, we talked, giggled, teased, ate, talked some more, shopped, laughed, joked, went sightseeing, took loads of photos, gossiped, ranted, raved, drove our partners a bit insane, and yes… talked even more.

It was bliss. Crazy, girly bliss that can only be shared between friends.

And, I realised one thing: I miss that kind of fun.

Being entrenched with day-to-day living, work, projects and studies, I really don’t get to spend a lot of time hanging out with friends. As in, just hanging out and being silly. Talking about everything and nothing at the same time.

I know it’s never going to be easy to do this sort of thing on a regular basis. So, I can only just be grateful when I do get the chance to have fun and celebrate life and friendship with wonderful people – both long-lasting friends and new.

So yes, friends, thanks again for a gorgeous, memorable weekend. I’m already looking forward to the next get-together.

Cleng, Bern, Christine, Me – Dinner at home

Celebrating Anniversaries

Shai Coggins — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 13:28:47 +0000

* Sap alert! I’m celebrating my 9th year wedding anniversary. So, please excuse me as I turn on a bit of mush for today’s blog post.*

Nine years ago, I married a very special man. Someone who helped me to grow and to become the person that I am today. Someone who has seen me at my best – and at my worst – and decides every day to stay with me anyway. (And vice versa, of course! )

Over the last 9 years, we’ve been through good and rough times… Cried, fought, hoped, and laughed… Travelled the world… Talked A LOT… Moved houses (5x!)… Studied and earned postgraduate degrees… Moved to new countries… Made a home… Had two lovely kids… And, made dreams happen.

The best part is that even though we started off as total strangers (who may have wondered if the other one’s a possible axe murderer at one time or the other!) – we’ve grown to become each other’s best friends.

And to think, our relationship began a decade ago… with just an email. Ah – the things that you can find online…

I look forward to many more anniversary celebrations for years to come.

———————–

Note: The picture you see here is actually a photo from our second wedding. Yep – we got married twice. The first and official one was held in Singapore (where we lived for a few years) on the 2nd of Dec. The second one happened a week and a half later in Manila, where we held our ‘celebration wedding’ in front of family and friends who came to celebrate with us from different parts of the world. To say that the weddings were eventful would probably be an understatement – as part of our wedding stories include an intensity 5 earthquake, half-naked runs in a hotel, nation-wide blackouts, a coup attempt, ‘lost in translation’ moments, and an airport dilemma, among a few other things.

Do You Still Date?

Shai Coggins — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 11:42:35 +0000

I love being a mum. But, one of the things that I miss ever since I had kids is going out on dates. It has been years since my husband and I went out on our own. We haven’t been to a movie together since Finding Nemo.

This is partly because we live on our own here in Australia. We have to raise our kids without on-call grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. We don’t have any families who can work as free babysitters. And, we find it tough to leave the kids with someone we don’t really know well.

Late last year, however, my husband and I decided that we should add a bit more fun in to our relationship. We knew that we can’t possibly carry on with doing just work, completing chores, pursuing personal goals, and pouring our lives to our kids.

We need to invest in us.

So, we said that we’ll try to go out on our own at least once a month in 2008.

Well, we didn’t get that happening in January. But yesterday, we went to a simple dinner + comedy show date as a special treat. Got a babysitter, whom the kids absolutely adore (she works at the childcare too, so they already know her). And, it was good. Felt strange. But, good.

Hopefully, it won’t take a few more years for the next date to happen.

What about you? What’s dating like for you? As a single, is it all hip and happening?

Or, if you already have a partner, do you still go out on dates? When and how often?

What’s your most ideal date? Any other dating suggestions and ideas that you might have?

Studio Notes by Shai Coggins» Relationships + Communication

Who’s on your cheering squad?

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