As I sit in here tonight, feeling completely unfazed about another Monday tomorrow, I sigh in great relief. It has been weeks since I last felt like I had a proper weekend. Most of the time, I’ve been up to my eyeballs with work – both the chore variety (cooking, cleaning, laundry…) and the prac variety (lesson planning, researching, preparing resources… ).

This weekend, however, I spent mostly doing nothing (or, as near to nothing as possible). Probably just in time too! I’m definitely feeling the effects of the past six weeks, as I’m now suffering from flu and having an almost non-existent voice.

But, in spite the health downer, I’m celebrating. Yes, my final teaching practicum is over!

I still have a case study and a film to finish, as well as a couple of seminars to attend this semester. But, I’m almost 3/4 of the way through this Masters’ programme. Then, just one more semester to go and I’ll be donning the gown and cap. Can you believe it?

I’ve been so completely overwhelmed in many ways during this last prac that I had. That’s why between wiping bodily fluids, surviving getting physically tackled by students, and facing all sorts of challenges and complex issues, I feel like I’ve definitely earned every minute of this prac.

You see, entering my first ever special ed class at Week 1, I began to wonder what on earth made me choose Special Education as a specialty area. Although I worked in the field of disability for years (in a psych-related role), I wasn’t prepared to face what I experienced in that classroom. As the days went by, and a few other challenges came up, I even began to question my sanity for choosing teaching as a career.

Then, I came across my “tipping point” — that moment when I felt like it was going to be make or break for me.

Thankfully, something clicked. And, when that happened, things just turned around. So, the last 2.5 weeks of my prac became an incredible experience that made up for the earlier challenges.

You see, in spite the challenging nature of my class (that’s the first thing my university liaison/ mentioned to me after my first teaching observation: “Uh… you certainly have quite a complex group of kids!” (Well, yeah….) — my students have definitely grown on me.

That’s why during the last few weeks of prac, I remembered why I’m doing this… I remembered what makes this teaching gig rock. No matter how much of a thankless task it may all seem to be at times.

When, out of the blue, a challenging student would say, “I think you did great teaching, Ms Shai.”

And, when another set of kids in different classes say, “We’ll miss you, Ms Shai. Will you come back?”

And, when you get a class full of low attention span kids (with varying disabilities) completely riveted in what you’re saying/doing/teaching…

And, when you get a smile/high five from a kid who usually tells teachers to f*** off…

And, when a group of kids insist that it’s not time to end the class yet (saying things like “Your watch is wrong! Not pack up time yet.”)…

And, when a couple of teachers I worked with ended up being more than just complimentary to my teaching (one of the teachers I worked with even gave me a ‘positive prophecy’ – saying that I’d “go a long way” in the field of education… she said that she could clearly see my passion and that I should be given the opportunity to spread my enthusiasm and skills… Very kind of her, hmmm?!)

Even on the last day of prac, from the moment I stepped out of my car, I’ve had students coming up to me with presents and amazing words like “You’re a good teacher, Ms Shai. Can you please stay?” and “You’re the best student teacher we’ve ever had. We’re really going to miss you.”

And, when a couple of “tough kids” in class end up bursting in to tears at the thought of saying goodbye… I was really taken aback.

That’s why when my students eagerly showed me their collective “goodbye poster” (photo above), I had no chance of staying cool, calm, and collected. I burst out crying, completely overwhelmed with the kind of affection that I was getting. I felt humbled and honoured.

Those are definitely moments when teaching almost becomes like magic.

It certainly has been excruciatingly hard work. I’ve always admired what teachers do, but I don’t think I ever appreciated just how much hard work it can all be. That’s why I’ve been on a certain kind of euphoria since the school bell rang at the end of the day on the 28th of May.

But, the great thing is: I can’t wait to experience more of that magic.

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Things have been a bit crazy the last few days, what with grad school assessments and all. And yes, starting tomorrow, I’ll be teaching full time again for six weeks.

Yep. That’s right.

It’s my second and final professional experience placement. I’ll be teaching a Year 3-7 Special Education class in a local state school from Monday to Friday.

I’ll be teaching a variety of subjects – from Literacy and Numeracy to ICT and Society and Environment, as well as Science and Art – to a variety of students with different learning abilities.  

And guess what? I’m not exactly a green thumb kind of girl (I love gardens but I haven’t really shown great aptitude for it), but my mentor teacher is a keen gardener. So, I’ve been led towards that direction. Yes, I’m digging in and doing a unit on GARDENING. Heh.

I know it will all be quite a challenge. But, I’m looking forward to the learning experience.

Learning about teaching and teaching people to learn are two different things. And, I’m curious to see how this practicum experience will pan out.

Oh, and yes, I know some of you might have heard the story that I shared on Facebook, Twitter, etc a few weeks ago (Sorry. I’m just so excited, I can’t shut up about it. ). It’s about that time when I’ve been given notice from the Australian Literacy Educators’ Association about receiving an award. I was surprised because we’ve never heard of it at Uni. But apparently, ALEA gives out Annual Awards nationally and statewide to educators.

One of ALEA’s awards is the University Award. According to ALEA’s latest AGM report, “Three university awards were presented as part of the SA Local Council AGM on 16 April 2010. Two awards were presented to [Uni A] graduates, one from the Primary Years and one from the Middle Years pre-service education courses, and one to an outstanding education student from [Uni B].“

My name was the one listed under the 2009 University Award recipient from Uni B. And yes, I got my certificate a couple of days ago (see scanned image).

I was floored. I couldn’t believe it. I know it’s just one subject, but I thought it was still pretty cool to know that I got the highest mark there (out of a hundred or so students, I think).

I know I’m doing okay with my subjects, but I didn’t quite expect to get awards. After all, I still remember being all jittery and unsure when I decided to go back to graduate school just a little over a year ago.

You see, while I was an okay student in the past, I was never really the academic type who gets straight As and such (Though I did get some As, I was more of a B-type student). I’ve always preferred my learning to be self-directed and informal. I never really felt the need for high grades to prove anything. Consequently, I used to have teachers tut-tutting me for not trying hard enough in the past.

But, for some reason, going back to school last year really challenged me in such a way that I’ve never been challenged before in an academic setting. And, somehow, whatever drive I managed to muster for Uni has helped me to do better than I expected. The strange thing is that I’m even having fun while I’m at my nerdiest! Meh.

Now, let’s see if I can get my gear on and finish my final practicum for this Masters’ programme with flying colours. Please wish me luck.

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Think about it. When faced with this question, what’s the first answer that comes to mind?

What matters most to you?

When I was looking at my work and my pathway some time last year, I asked that question. Again and again. As I pondered on what I’d do next with my life, my career, I asked myself: “What matters most to you?”

My kids. My family. It was automatic. No hesitation. I know.

It wasn’t blogging or networking. It wasn’t about making it to “popularity lists” or becoming known as Miss Influential. It wasn’t even art or writing or any of my personal dreams.

My kids and family matter most.

Following that thought pattern, I looked deeply in to what kind of work would suit me best knowing what matters most to me.

Almost the same time as my last Big Project ended for me, I received an offer to do postgraduate studies in a University here in Adelaide. The degree: Master of Teaching, Junior Primary/Primary (additional specialty in Special Education).

Working with Kids.

It was a strange sensation, thinking about it. A career change? A shift in my personal direction? Or, is it just a way of bringing me back on track?

You see, the idea of working with kids has always been something I harboured.

The fact that my first (and so far, only) book published is a Children’s Book is probably one big clue about this matter. Plus, some of my first writing gigs were for kid/family/education-focused publications.

And yes, I did teach and tutor in the Philippines. I even considered doing it full-time at some stage.

Even when I was practising in Psychology, I wanted to do Child and/or Educational Psychology. In fact, my first official psych work in Singapore was at a school there.

However, other opportunities came along – and I became sidetracked.

Somehow, though, the idea keeps coming back.

Working with kids? My heart was already jumping with excitement at the thought of it.

After some soul searching and further research, I accepted the postgrad study offer. I didn’t know how my experiences and expertise in Media, Social Web, and Psychology would all fit in to my new pathway, but it didn’t matter at the time. I knew I was on a new, exciting adventure!

As my mind shifted from my old web-community paradigm to my new working-with-kids-and-education one, something struck me.

Like an imaginary bridge connecting my “old life” to my new one, I saw this project beginning to take form. Not exactly a Eureka! moment, but it certainly felt close to one.

And, not long after, I started working on KIDoosh (kidoosh.com), a content and community network for parents, teachers, and other carer of kids (mostly ages 12 and below).

So no, it’s not just a blog. Nor a blog network. It’s not even a megablog or a megasite. Or, whatever it is people on the interwebs call ‘em nowadays.

However, as it currently stands, it’s mostly just a number of sites/blogs linked together with some social networking and such thrown in using WordPress MU and a number of add-ons to make it all work together. But, I want it to be much more than that. I definitely have other hopes and plans for KIDoosh. It’s just a matter of time, finding the right people, finance, and all that crazy business and development jazz.

Actually, that’s why I’ve held back launching KIDoosh all these time. It just doesn’t feel ready yet. There’s so much more I want to do. Including changing our logo/banner (yes, I hired a designer who unfortunately didn’t quite deliver— another reason the launch kept getting delayed). There are still a lot of things that need fixing, editing, adding… So, I keep thinking: It’s not right yet. The timing’s still off.

But then, I got a massive nudge reading the words of Mark Victor Hansen:

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”

And apparently, Pixar (another kid-friendly place?!) president Ed Catmull shares a very similar sentiment about showing projects early. Or rather, before they’re even ready. To improve. To fix. To succeed. (Thanks for the hat tip, @blpro!)

So, that’s why KIDoosh is finally out of my Projects Closet. In BETA form, but still…

I’m thrilled.

Even more thrilling because I’m soft launching this baby with a few wonderful women who have been helping me to build this dream…

• Mary Emma Allen – writing Family Food, Writing for Children, and co-writing Reading Books for Kids
• Kari Rohl – writing Kids and Family Crafts
• Kristyn Maslog-Levis – writing Baby, Babies! and Gadgets for Kids
• Nikki Katz – writing Young Authors
• Melvie Yang – writing Kids’ Style

We have a couple of other sites that are still “in the making”. So, we’ll have to launch them when they’re up and about. I also contribute to some of the sites like Education and Media.

Other “minor milestones” / “mini-successes” pre-launch include:

• The site has already over 50 members, even though it hasn’t been promoted yet;
• Having its very own business plan to get us going;
• One of my lecturers at Uni saw this project and really liked it; said that he’s hoping to mention KIDoosh to other teaching students in his future lectures (oh, and I got a High Distinction from this class – heh); and
• The main site has a Google PR of 2 (with minimal linkages, etc).

Tiny, tiny stuff in the great big scheme of things, I know. But, when you’re starting a project, even the tiniest things feel exciting. That’s the beauty of a startup. The flip side, of course, is that there’s all that work and money that need go in to building and growing these tiny, tiny things. Ah, yes. Those. Well, I’ll deal with those things as we go along.

For now, if you’ve managed to read this far — and if you’ve got kids who matter heaps to you too (children, nephews/nieces, grandchildren, godchildren, students, etc etc) — please do head on over to KIDoosh. Have a look around, sign-up/register (it’s free!), leave a comment or two, create a profile, join a group, and connect with fellow grown-ups who just happen to love kids and kids’ stuff.

Also, if you haven’t done so yet, do join KIDoosh’s Facebook Page and follow Twitter.

As a member/fan/subscriber, you’ll be one of the first to know about the developments over at KIDoosh.

I’m really, really looking forward to seeing you there. And, to reading/hearing any ideas/suggestions/thoughts that you might have about it all.

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My First Classroom: This was where I taught during my first teaching practicum.

Having studied primarily in Asian educational systems, the idea of studying in Australia was something that scared me on different levels. I know that might sound strange to some of you. But, having been raised the way I was, there’s definitely a reason for this thought pattern. Plus, the fact that I’m taking on a career change was also a bit scary.

Now, I’m pleased to report that I’ve officially completed one year of my postgraduate studies. I honestly didn’t think I’d get this far. But yes, I’m now halfway through!

Here are just some of my random thoughts and memories from my first year back at grad school…

1) It has been quite a hectic year. This probably goes without saying. But yeah, this year, I had to learn to juggle full time studies and teach in a real classroom for the first time, while being a mum to two small children (a new school-aged child and a toddler), doing part-time psychology work and freelance/consulting work, with several different projects. That’s why I’m sooo ready to have a break from some of these things!

2) Grad school’s been really good for me. No matter how hectic things have been, I must say that my overall experience of studying again has been great. Sure, there were plenty of stressful moments and sleep-deprived days. But, before I started Uni, I was a bundle of nerves. I was suffering from huge losses and major hits to my self-esteem for almost a year. Those who are really close to me would know that I was in a very dark place. For some reason, grad school helped to take away some of those negative things in my life by replacing them with some really positive things. And, I have to say that my confidence level has even gone up.

3) My world has expanded. Not only have I met some really cool and inspiring people, I’ve been introduced to some really great food for thought. I love watching really good teachers at work. Sure, not all teachers are made equal (but then, you find not-so-great folks in any profession, right?). But, I have to say that those teachers and teachers-in-training who’re really passionate, creative, and smart are just fantastic to watch and to talk to. Then, there are the kids. These amazing young people whose world are just opening up. I’ve been so enthused just by seeing the world through their eyes. No wonder I’ve been bombarded with a load of ideas lately.

4) Getting to play again. Being a mum to two kids have brought out the child in me again. Learning to become a primary school teacher has taken that “inner child” in to a whole different level. Not only did I get to make cool puppets, toy cars, paper frogs, and playdough echidnas… I’ve even played tag games, modified sports, movement games, and all sorts of other stuff. And yes, there were drama presentations, dancing, science experiments… all in the name of education. I even find it fun watching fellow “grown-ups” doing all the games and such in class. It’s like getting a second chance at relieving some parts of my childhood. In a different way.

5) Teaching is hard work. Anyone who says otherwise don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s a full-on job. And, those who do their job well throughout the year certainly deserve those paid holidays. Those who don’t do their jobs properly… Well, I wish there’s a way to get them to straighten up or quit.

Grad School Activities: Some of my grad school projects and presentations.

I’m sure I’ve got heaps of other thoughts from my year. But, I think I’ll leave it at this for now.

All I know is that I am glad I went back to grad school. I’m happy that I’m working towards my registration as a teacher. I’m pleased with my Uni results so far, and my first practicum report.

It was definitely a good path to bliss for me this year.

But, at the same time, I am also soooo relieved that my first year is over. And, I definitely look forward to finishing next year.

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As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I’ve been going through a lot of decision-making processes in various areas of my life. And, as some of you may have already read through my Tweets/Plurks/FB updates, one of the things that I’ve ended up deciding on recently is going back to University.

Yes, today marks my first day back as a Student. This time, I’m doing a Master of Teaching in Special Education. And yes, this is the second postgraduate degree that I’ve enrolled in.

You see, in 2004, I was awarded a Master of Social Science in Applied Psychology. This was a few years after I finished my four-year Bachelor of Science in Psychology undergraduate degree. And, while these qualifications enabled me to become a psychologist while I was living in Singapore, there are other requirements here in Australia to become a registered psychologist. In fact, I was actually doing an approved psych registration programme through my work as a Graduate Officer in Psychology a couple of years ago in a local organisation for people with disabilities.

But, due to a “crazy opportunity” that I’ve come across online, that plan was put aside to pursue another dream.

However, now that that opportunity has shifted gears, I knew that I’ll be happiest* if I go back to my “occupational roots” — of doing Values-Based Work that I’ve always loved. Something that is more than “just a job”. Something that’s not all about the “bottomline” or rankings or titles. Something that can really make a difference.

Sure, I know I’ll always have my entrepreneurial side. I can’t help it. My parents raised me with business on the brain. After all, I did start making money through business since I was 10 years old. So, no matter what I do, I’ll always come up with some business idea that I can tie in to my passion. That’s why even now, I already have some projects-in-the-making that relate to my current interest in kids and education.

I mean, money’s great, right? Having money is even more wonderful, of course. It’s no use pretending that it’s not important. It is. Very much so. But, money’s not everything.

Yeah, to me, the key element in a Life’s Work is this: Passion.

I love being able to pursue work that empowers me to carry out such passion. And creativity. And meaning. And joy.

That’s why as I sang and drummed to the beat of some silly poem (as well as marched and carried out hysterical movements to fun sounds) during my “Music + Movement Teaching” workshop today, I felt right at home.

This is something that I need to do. Right here, right now.

And, while the thought of doing assignments, presentations, and exams scare me, I’m also really, really excited as I peruse my Topic Information Booklets, Readings, and Text Books.

Will I be able to complete this graduate degree? Well, we all have 2+ years to find that out! Wish me luck.

*Bliss, being my word-of-the-year, was a good guide to my decision-making!

Image courtesy of: Steve Woods (sxc.hu)

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