While there are plenty of good things online, there are also several horrible things — from minor things like trolls and critics – to really major ones like peodophiles and terrorists using the web to do atrocious things.
That’s why one of the things that I mentioned in this entry is to develop bravery as a blogger.
That same blog entry was turned in to an article here. And, that article brought about a criticism from a reader. He was just basically objecting to my use of the word “nutter” in the article.
So, it’s either he’s just being too sensitive or he simply misunderstood my point. In any case, I don’t mean any disrespect in what I’ve written. But, I know that if someone makes up their mind about something, then even if I try to explain myself ’til the cows come home, I still won’t get through to them.
This thought used to disturb me in my early days online. But now, I realise that I have no control about what people think or feel about certain things. I do my best to be considerate and thoughtful about what I write — and I do avoid conflict as best as I can. I just don’t have it in me to start or to be actively involved in flame wars and such things.
They’re just time wasters and energy drainers in my opinion. I’ve got better things to do with my life.
I’ve agreed to disagree. I’ve accepted that not everyone will like me (the same way that I know I will not like everyone). I am aware that I will make mistakes and do stupid things. That’s OK. I’ll just try to correct them if I can and/or apologise, if needed. But, I am no less a person even if other people may say otherwise.
I’ve learned not to take myself too seriously. And yes, I don’t take everything that was said or written to me too seriously either. Otherwise, life will simply be a lot less pleasurable. And, besides, what’s the point in getting too worked up over people I’ve never seen, possibly never meet, and definitely don’t add anything significant to my life?
So, that’s why I’ve decided to make use of delete buttons and that little x button on my web browser effectively and as often as I wish to.
Do I get upset at all? Oh, absolutely. I’m human. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m sensitive. I get mad. I go bonkers (hey – another slang that may be construed as offensive!) when pushed to the limit…
But, I also know now that even if I can’t control other people’s thoughts, feelings and behaviours — I should be able to control my own.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
FMF 08.12.05 at 2:44 pm
Welcome back. Hope your mini-vacation was good.
[Reply]
Mark Wade 08.12.05 at 6:43 pm
Hey Shai,
First Things First – thanks for your comment yesterday
Now, on this topic – hmmm – trying to keep it in the first person eh? You can call me a nutter any time you’d like! I accept that there will always be someone with thin skin, someone with an axe to grind, someone who has a differing opinion etc. etc. Makes the world go ’round.
But – I won’t adapt myself to them unless they have been able to prove to me that they have the experience to back themselves up and that experience has worked for them in a positive way. The comment you received appears to me to be a personal opinion. Probably has some basis in fact or personal experience. But doesn’t need to be forced on anyone.
I deal with “mentally challenged” folks every day and I am one. I’ve learned that “The Truth Will Set Us Free.”
Stigma is societized psycho-babble and its a shame that anyone buys into being stigmatized. I learned not to judge my insides by someone else’s outsides. What someone says about me doesn’t make me who I am.
And we move on…
Have a great day!
Mark
[Reply]
JO 08.12.05 at 9:48 pm
very well said!
hope you dont mind if i link you up.
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Shai Coggins 08.14.05 at 1:59 pm
FMF: Thanks, it was.
Mark: I love what you just wrote. Especially this: “What someone says about me doesn’t make me who I am.” So, so, true!
Jo: Thanks. Of course I don’t mind. It’s my honour.
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dexie 08.16.05 at 2:00 am
AMEN! You just can’t please everybody.
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Shai Coggins 08.17.05 at 8:03 am
Dexie: Absolutely! And, we should’nt have to.
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Mercy Jones 08.20.05 at 3:52 am
Well said!!
What amazes me is the level people stoop to just to take the time and effort to say horrible things about you .. if it’s so bad .. just move on!
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Teacher Sol 09.15.05 at 6:44 am
It’s done, Shai! Sorry ’bout that. It’s an honest mistake. I still admire you for being a good writer/blogger and for being candid about how you feel. Thanks for reminding me
[Reply]
Shai Coggins 04.28.06 at 7:48 am
Mercy: Thanks. And yes, you’re right.
Sol: No worries. As long as it doesn’t happen again, I’m okay with that. People do all sorts of things on the blogosphere without knowing any better. Just glad that you’re fine with abiding by my request.
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